7 days. 3 hours. 49 minutes. That's when my flight leaves.
It has been a whirlwind of busyness in the past 8 weeks. It truly feels like just yesterday I said "Yes, lets do it, I'll be the photographer." And within days my plane ticket was booked & it became real. Whirlwind. That describes this well.
Raising support in a short 2 months, preparing my heart/mind/body/soul, talking to various people about their experiences, figuring out what gear to take. It was, and still is, a lot. I needed to prepare my business to be gone for two weeks, schedule my sessions around then, make sure each client had their images before I left, and address as many emails as possible before I left.
I've really had to dig deep to find peace & faith that God will take care of things. I know that He will provide the necessary financial support that I need and plenty of people to pray for me & the trip. I just have to be patient.
There are so many unknowns with this trip; I'm the type who likes to have everything prepared & know exactly what's going to happen, but I'm having to let it go for this trip. It's weird, letting go, and not knowing what to expect, and it's hard. But God is calling me to this & I know He has a beautiful plan & if I can just be patient & trust, it will all go accordingly.
Matthew 6:36
"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring it's own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."
I think about this verse daily & it's apart of my prayers. I'm just ready to be there and be excited & start meeting so many sweet new faces.
Thank you to all who have a said prayer or many. I am a strong believer in the power of prayer & I appreciate every single one. And a deep thank you to those who have supported me financially. It's so great to know that not only am I going over there, but that so many of you are involved as well.
When you support me, you are invested in what's happening over there & that's the great thing about supporting ministries abroad. You are apart of it! I am almost fully funded, but I am still in need of further support. If you've thought about giving even $5, please send me a email to mail me a check or donate online. I know that $5 may not seem like a lot or it's not a "good enough" donation, but I can't stress this enough- every penny counts & every penny helps.
If you have any questions about what I'll be doing or just want to talk more about the trip, please don't hesitate to ask! You can email me here: creo-photography@live.com
And in just a over a week, I'll be adding photos here on the blog! I'm so excited to be there & share my experience with you all!
Thank you again for you support!
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Friday, February 22, 2013
266 Days
It's been 266 days since I diagnosed. 7 months & 11 days. 5,424 hours.
It's been a rough 7 months. But things are starting to level out.
This right before my first MRI, about 10 days after the headaches started. I was exhausted but determined to have my hair & makeup done since I was going out in public.
This is day 17 of headaches, little sleep, blurry vision, and no makeup. I had some wicked dark circles underneath my eyes. And I cried. Often. I was exhausted, I had an upcoming wedding I was supposed to be photographing, I couldn't work, and no one knew what was wrong. I just wanted some relief.
A day and a half after my diagnosis I went in for the first emergency eye surgery at 8 am. Waking up from an 1.5 hour long surgery, sucks. I was nauseous & my whole face ached.
Less than a week later I came home from the 2nd eye surgery. It took less than 30 minutes, waking up was much easier, and they didn't need to put a patch on it. I was now the owner of two swollen black eyes with gross scars across the lids.
7 months later, my healing has reached a plateau and both myself and my doctor believe that I've gained back as much as I'm going to. I have very limited peripheral vision. I have blind spots throughout each eye that make reading and seeing small details difficult. It's harder for me to differentiate similar colors & I have to really work to see things in the dark. I haven't driven a car since June. I started on 2000 mg (8 pills) of diamox to control the cranial fluid pressure & I am now down to 750mg (3 pills). My pressure hasn't gone back up, I haven't had any headaches, and my vision has remained consistent for several months. My hope is that by the end of this year I will be off diamox completely & I'll officially be in remission.
7 months later, I still have an amazing fiance who has stood by me through everything & watched countless of hours of HGTV while I laid in bed listening. I have the most supportive family I could ask. I have a business that is slowly growing again after taking an entire busy season off. I am blessed in every area of my life, no matter how difficult each day may seem. I thank God for every day I wake & go to sleep without headaches & for a life surrounded by people I love. This disease may take a toll on my body, but I'm constantly fighting to get healthy again & live life as normally as possible.
A short two weeks after my surgeries we went to the beach for my family's annual vacation. The diamox makes me allergic to the sun, so I had to stay bundled up & out of it.
3 months after the surgeries, and this was one of the first times I put on makeup. My eyelids were sensitive and putting on eye makeup wasn't an option for a long time.
6 months later & I'm as pale as a ghost. But happy to not be blind & excited about the little bit of snow we got!
Just recently had an opportunity to get my makeup professionally done & this turned into a trial run for the wedding. This was a rare moment where I felt good about my appearance since the surgeries.
"Your illness does not define you. Your strength & courage does."
Monday, January 21, 2013
Photography & Missions work
This past summer I often contemplated what I would do with my life if photography wouldn't be possible after my eye surgeries. Slowly, I started photographing family, and then taking on small sessions. And now, 6 months later (almost to the day), I'm preparing for a season full of maternity, engagement, family sessions, and a few weddings.
Less than a week ago, Joey Potter, Director of the FCA Missions, contacted me about going on a missions trip to photograph the team, the haitian refugees, and the experience. We met several years back at a beach volleyball tournament where I was taking photos of family. He saw my images and had asked me to join his team on various missions over the past few years. I almost went to Kenya a couple years back but the timing wasn't right. And now, after losing my eyesight and regaining most of it, I'm preparing to go to the island of Spanish Wells and it's just around the corner.
So, I am now in the process of raising funds to travel there, to capture relationships blooming, gods love being felt, swimming lesson being taught, and finally being able to bring my passion for missions work & photography together.
I leave for the island of Spanish Wells, in the Bahamas on March 28th & return April 7th. There's so much to do between now and then, it's a little overwhelming, but I know that God will take care of things along the way.
While going to the tropics sounds like a dream, there will be challenges. The medication I'm on for my IIH makes me sensitive to the sun, so I will have to cover up when in the sunshine & be cautious about it. But I'm confident that this is where God wants me & I'm not going to stand by because of my IIH.
I am asking for prayers, for strength, peace of heart and mind, guidance, and reassurance from God that this is where he wants me & even though I don't typically photograph sports, I can still use my gift on this trip.
In order to do this, I need to ask for financial support, so if you can donate in any amount, I would so deeply appreciate it. It's hard to ask for money, but there is simply no way for me to do this alone. FCA Missions has provided me with a plane ticket & I need to raise the additional $1500 to get there.
***To date I've raised $1114! Thank you so much for all those who have contributed financially!***
You can use this button to donate online or you can mail me a check. Just email me at k.rudberg@live.com for my address! Again, thank you for all your support, whether it's financially or prayerfully.
Less than a week ago, Joey Potter, Director of the FCA Missions, contacted me about going on a missions trip to photograph the team, the haitian refugees, and the experience. We met several years back at a beach volleyball tournament where I was taking photos of family. He saw my images and had asked me to join his team on various missions over the past few years. I almost went to Kenya a couple years back but the timing wasn't right. And now, after losing my eyesight and regaining most of it, I'm preparing to go to the island of Spanish Wells and it's just around the corner.
When Joey originally contacted me about being a photographer for their team I was a bit surprised. The FCA's mission statement is this "To see the world impacted for Jesus Christ through the influence of athletes and coaches." They build community through sports- from baseball to direly needed swim lessons, and share Christ's love through new shoes, meals, and sports equipment.
Most of you know, I'm not a sports photographer, so I've had my doubts as to whether or not this was the right avenue for me to use my photography in the field. Those doubts still exist, but God is calling me to this team & I can't deny that anymore.
So, I am now in the process of raising funds to travel there, to capture relationships blooming, gods love being felt, swimming lesson being taught, and finally being able to bring my passion for missions work & photography together.
I leave for the island of Spanish Wells, in the Bahamas on March 28th & return April 7th. There's so much to do between now and then, it's a little overwhelming, but I know that God will take care of things along the way.
While going to the tropics sounds like a dream, there will be challenges. The medication I'm on for my IIH makes me sensitive to the sun, so I will have to cover up when in the sunshine & be cautious about it. But I'm confident that this is where God wants me & I'm not going to stand by because of my IIH.
I am asking for prayers, for strength, peace of heart and mind, guidance, and reassurance from God that this is where he wants me & even though I don't typically photograph sports, I can still use my gift on this trip.
In order to do this, I need to ask for financial support, so if you can donate in any amount, I would so deeply appreciate it. It's hard to ask for money, but there is simply no way for me to do this alone. FCA Missions has provided me with a plane ticket & I need to raise the additional $1500 to get there.
***To date I've raised $1114! Thank you so much for all those who have contributed financially!***
You can use this button to donate online or you can mail me a check. Just email me at k.rudberg@live.com for my address! Again, thank you for all your support, whether it's financially or prayerfully.
 |
| New shoes which most have never had! |
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| Swim lessons are a great need on the island. |
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Holiday update & Driving Status
Well it's been quite awhile since my last post, my apologies. It seems like God had a busier fall season planned for me, full of photography and appointments. My original plan was to return to photography in the spring, but as the bills were piling up, clients were emailing in, and the need to start taking jobs was apparent.
So I started booking sessions, and before I knew it, December & the holiday season was here! I can't say thank you enough to those client who chose to book with me despite everything that's happened with my eyesight. They put their trust in me & praise Jesus I was able to deliver. Chasing kids is more difficult than before but my love for photography and giving captured memories to these families hasn't diminished a bit.
My central vision hasn't changed much, but my peripheral vision has opened up a bit, enough for me to pass the dmv standards for driving. I needed 110 degrees of uninterrupted vision and I have about 115. But on my right side there is still some cause for concern & my doctors classified me as "borderline." Which basically means I get choose whether or not I drive.
I am apprehensive, because there are those blind spots & that will effect my reaction time, yet I'm sure once I get back into a car, I'll readjust and be fine. My doctor that helps with the daily life stuff and rehab is doctor Tran. She's been quite wonderful and realistic. The last time I went in we talked about driving and the fact that, just because I meet the numerical degree necessary, that doesn't mean I'll be able to drive. She said that when I'm ready, I needed to go take a rehabilitation course on driving, which I'm not thrilled about. I don't see what they're going to tell me other than, 'you'll have to turn your head more often to see things.' Well duh, I don't have all my peripheral vision so how else would I see things?
I haven't driven since June and Matt took the car back to school with him for the year, and so far I've survived. So I don't think I'll be hoping on the band wagon for driving until the spring. Hopefully my vision will continue to improve and I'll feel a little more confident about being on the road.
With all that being said, my prescription, diamox, the common medication for IH is still working. I started back in July on 2000mg a day (the max dosage), in other words, I had to take 2 pills, 4 times a day. That was a hassle. Dr. Falardeau has reduced me slowly over the past 6 months and I'm down to 1000mg a day, with no IH symptoms creeping back. So thankful for that! I would LOVE to be off this awful drug by summer & be able to sit in the sun again & have carbonated drinks! That means that I could be tan for my wedding, drink champagne, and enjoy our sunny honeymoon! Here's to hoping**
__________________
Switching notes just a tad, I wanted to relay what it's like for someone with IH, who deals with the symptoms daily. I've had so much time to read online forums, groups, discussions, blogs about IH and people who battle it 24/7.
It is not like me now. I have IH but I tend to consider myself in remission since the headaches haven't come back and whooshing in my ear is gone. It's like the first 23 days of my summer this year.
IH is daily headaches, whether they be minor or so bad that you literally can not get up. There's whooshing in your ear that is deafening, and it doesn't go away. The headaches usually cause naseau & that makes eating difficult. Not everyone with IH has issues with their eyes. Often, people with IH also have fibromyalgia, which is a constant ache of joints and muscles. Weather temperature changes, and pressure changes, can make the headaches worse. Many doctors opt for routine spinal taps to help manage the pressure and headaches. You can also get a shunt in your lower back, abdomen, or temple to help drain the extra cranial fluid. Thankfully, I didn't have to have brain surgery, the medication & eye surgeries were enough for me. But Diamox doesn't work fully for everyone. It might help keep the headaches more manageable but they're still present. It's a daily battle, that can last years, and it doesn't have cure.
Every day I am thankful that my struggle with IH has been relatively easy compared to so many people who have fought it for years. I pray that I never leave remission and that my battle was a one time thing.
So I started booking sessions, and before I knew it, December & the holiday season was here! I can't say thank you enough to those client who chose to book with me despite everything that's happened with my eyesight. They put their trust in me & praise Jesus I was able to deliver. Chasing kids is more difficult than before but my love for photography and giving captured memories to these families hasn't diminished a bit.
My central vision hasn't changed much, but my peripheral vision has opened up a bit, enough for me to pass the dmv standards for driving. I needed 110 degrees of uninterrupted vision and I have about 115. But on my right side there is still some cause for concern & my doctors classified me as "borderline." Which basically means I get choose whether or not I drive.
I am apprehensive, because there are those blind spots & that will effect my reaction time, yet I'm sure once I get back into a car, I'll readjust and be fine. My doctor that helps with the daily life stuff and rehab is doctor Tran. She's been quite wonderful and realistic. The last time I went in we talked about driving and the fact that, just because I meet the numerical degree necessary, that doesn't mean I'll be able to drive. She said that when I'm ready, I needed to go take a rehabilitation course on driving, which I'm not thrilled about. I don't see what they're going to tell me other than, 'you'll have to turn your head more often to see things.' Well duh, I don't have all my peripheral vision so how else would I see things?
I haven't driven since June and Matt took the car back to school with him for the year, and so far I've survived. So I don't think I'll be hoping on the band wagon for driving until the spring. Hopefully my vision will continue to improve and I'll feel a little more confident about being on the road.
With all that being said, my prescription, diamox, the common medication for IH is still working. I started back in July on 2000mg a day (the max dosage), in other words, I had to take 2 pills, 4 times a day. That was a hassle. Dr. Falardeau has reduced me slowly over the past 6 months and I'm down to 1000mg a day, with no IH symptoms creeping back. So thankful for that! I would LOVE to be off this awful drug by summer & be able to sit in the sun again & have carbonated drinks! That means that I could be tan for my wedding, drink champagne, and enjoy our sunny honeymoon! Here's to hoping**
__________________
Switching notes just a tad, I wanted to relay what it's like for someone with IH, who deals with the symptoms daily. I've had so much time to read online forums, groups, discussions, blogs about IH and people who battle it 24/7.
It is not like me now. I have IH but I tend to consider myself in remission since the headaches haven't come back and whooshing in my ear is gone. It's like the first 23 days of my summer this year.
IH is daily headaches, whether they be minor or so bad that you literally can not get up. There's whooshing in your ear that is deafening, and it doesn't go away. The headaches usually cause naseau & that makes eating difficult. Not everyone with IH has issues with their eyes. Often, people with IH also have fibromyalgia, which is a constant ache of joints and muscles. Weather temperature changes, and pressure changes, can make the headaches worse. Many doctors opt for routine spinal taps to help manage the pressure and headaches. You can also get a shunt in your lower back, abdomen, or temple to help drain the extra cranial fluid. Thankfully, I didn't have to have brain surgery, the medication & eye surgeries were enough for me. But Diamox doesn't work fully for everyone. It might help keep the headaches more manageable but they're still present. It's a daily battle, that can last years, and it doesn't have cure.
Every day I am thankful that my struggle with IH has been relatively easy compared to so many people who have fought it for years. I pray that I never leave remission and that my battle was a one time thing.
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