We ran through all of the eye tests. I could read one more line on the eye chart but it's still difficult. There is a book that has colored bubbles & within those pages are slightly different colored Xs Os and triangles. The very first time I took the test I got 2. This time I got 10- progress in the color department!
My optic nerves are down below a level 2 of swelling, so they're almost back to normal, although I'm hoping the healing will continue. My eye pressure is between the normal levels or 10 & 20. I have creases on my optic nerves from the swelling which is causing the slight distortion I see. It makes reading difficult because letters often overlap. I prat that the distortion goes away, it's easily one of the hardest things I'm having to learn to live with.
Peripheral vision is ever so slightly better but still not great. And this time I have photos to show you! I'm a visual learner, so these images really help me understand what I'm up against.
Black is bad & white is good. The gray circle is where everyone has a blindspot- something about where the optic nerve meets the front of the eye. When I first came in, the photos were mostly black and red with some color in the central area, hence the need for immediate surgery. I can honestly say that I was in complete denial about how bad my vision before surgery. I look back and think wow, I couldn't see anything except X & now I can see everything that is around X. It's quite scary to think about.
Anyways. My dr wasn't too happy about the little amount of progress my eyes have made since my last appointment to this one. She was hoping to see more improvement, especially in the peripheral regions. I'm right there with her. I may be able to see colors but the distortion is still there & theere are still significant blindspots. I'm praying that my healing will continue & I regain at least clear central vision with no distortion.
It is hard to stay afloat when everything has been flipped upside down. The only thing that has stayed the same is my family & for that I'm so very thankful. But now that my healing is slowing coming to an end & I'm getting a glimpse of what the rest of my life will look like (literally, through these broken eyes) I'm having troubles finding my footing in this new world.
Not
I pray that I can write 6 months from now that I am pushing through the the vision obstacles and pursuing photography and pushing my eyes to their limits regardless of the pain and struggles that accompany that journey. I pray that I will be able to speak of this life changing event in a such a positive attitude that it gives hope to others out there who are struggling with IIH or something else. But right now I'm finding it difficult to find the strength to get back up and start putting my life back together even though my eyes are still broken.
I am not one to give up or give way to fear of the unknown. But this is a battle that terrifies me because unlike the last leap of faith I took with leaving George Fox and pursuing photography full time, this time, I am not financially stable. I can't work right now & that is beyond frustrating.
So that is where I am. Thankful for the sight that I do have & still struggling with recovery.
Prayers & well wishes, phone calls & surprise visits are still very much appreciated (:
